It's been my husband's desktop picture on his laptop for 3 years now.
It was taken in December 2009 at a Christmas tree lighting ceremony. The only reason I haven't erased this experience from my memory entirely is because I see this picture every time I walk by Scott's computer.
Scott was deployed in December 2009. I sent him the picture, along with a few others, to prove that I was out and about and surviving in this great state. I'd been living here for about 2 months at that time.
I went to the ceremony with some friends. It was about 15* out that night so, really, not even that cold. I wore snow boots, jeans, turtleneck, sweater, scarf, hat, gloves...the usual.
Well, friends, that was the coldest night of my life. My feet were FROZEN. I mean, numb. The tree lighting took place on a make-shift ice rink, so I was walking around on a lot of snow and ice. I spent the majority of the time running in and out of the warming tent because I couldn't stand to actually be outside.
When I got home, many torturous hours later, I could barely get my boots off. My feet hurt..from the cold numbness they'd been living in for the last 3 hours. It took a good hour of rubbing to get non-painful feeling back into them.
This is the clincher: No one else was cold. Everyone thought I was insane (or weak...probably weak). Everyone else was having a fantabulous time. Absolutely delightful it was to them.
This just made me mad. They were dressed, really, no more warmly than I was. This was when I realized I was different. I didn't fit. This was the beginning of the downward spiral that culminated with this post back in September.
Of course, I thought it was just me..that it was a fluke. I kept trying again...and again...and again. It got no better. The majority of the experiences I've had here usually end up with me being cold and wet. And angry or pouty. (See: Clam digging). This camping trip last year didn't result in that, but I really wanted a shower after 18 hours
Have you ever had that moment where you realize you don't fit? Sometimes you can pinpoint it, sometimes you can't. I DEFINITELY can, in this case.
Oh, look. It's the wintertime view at our first house in Alaska. *shudder*
*Oh, and you should probably enter this giveaway. Starbucks, anyone??*
Oh again. Do you like Target? Head over to Mrs. K's blog to check out another giveaway. It's a busy week 'round here.